I often stew on topics for a while, and while I’m no expert on the matter, I have been through the rejection of a divorce, so I’ll freely talk about my experiences and how to deal with rejection.
An acquaintance turned friend, recently found out her husband wants a divorce. It was both unexpected and really not something she wants.
Naturally when a divorce is unexpected and out of the blue, the rejection is intensified substantially! Especially when compared to my situation, where the divorce was (1) my choice, I decided I did everything humanly possible to reconcile the marriage and (2) the leading time is short, again, divorce wasn’t an option for me long before I actually started considering a divorce as final option.
While listening to my friend absolute turmoil earlier this week, I felt an intense needs to define, unpack and dissect rejection.
Add one Unisa subject and exam season looming around the corner and you have a perfect combo for writing and researching something, while you should be studying!
The one subject (which in all honesty, I find a bit dull) is called “The educator in a pastoral role”. And I should add it isn’t the subject per say – it’s probably just that it feels like a repetition of what I’ve learned in psychology, simply from a different perspective (adolescent and not working adults).
There are two chapters that appeal to me at this stage (1.) child abuse and (2.) trauma/ crisis. These appeal to me, because I can see how it all fits in with human trafficking and people finding themselves vulnerable to be trafficked – things that are preventable, without the right kind of awareness! (Off topic and different post altogether)
But long story short.
The definition of a crisis is both beautiful and meaningful:
“A crisis can be defined as a period of psychological turmoil as a direct result of a hazardous situation or event. The person feels unable to cope with familiar coping strategies they normally use.”
I tried to make that sound non-definition like, but you know how it goes!
Let’s take the rejection of a husband (or wife) unexpectedly seeking a divorce. Definitely grounds for a crisis if you ask me. But here’s the beautiful part – the crisis doesn’t have to be negative!
The Chinese symbol for crisis is represented by two words:
1. Wei – danger
2. Ji – opportunity
Danger is definitely present in a crisis. But even more so when the crisis is left unresolved . If left unresolved it has devastating and debilitating long term effects. Again, I’ve seen the effects my parents’ divorce have had on my mom. To the extent that she relived some of her trauma through my divorce.
It is what it is but essentially it is a wasted life! Life isn’t meant to be draining, it’s supposed to be fulfilling! Or at least that is what we strive for daily!
Here’s the thing, through a crisis we have the opportunity to grow and to bring about permanent positive changes. We have the chance to rebuild a more substantial foundation!
That’s pretty profound! Especially for a Unisa study guide! I’ll say it again: crisis gives us a chance to rebuild a more substantial foundation! Opportunity, beauty from ashes, Biblical principles, essentially – grace!
I want to encourage you, regardless of the crisis. Regardless of what you are facing, because let’s be honest – life if filled with crisis. See the danger, live through the danger but don’t miss the opportunity!
Take every opportunity to rebuild a substantial foundation.
I have a feeling my thoughts my return to this and other related topics in the near future. If you are going through a divorce, reach out, you don’t have to go through it alone!
If you need more tips on how to deal with rejection, feel free to browse my Brave and Broken Lifestyle Challenge pages. I wrote these with you in mind. Together we can be both brave and broken!
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