Depression and Divorce

I started this week feeling exceptionally emotional and depressed.  I felt exhausted, like a fat loser and a real failure.  The thought of going on was too much – all my good intentions and attempts to stay positivity seemed like a bad joke that leads to the deep dark hole I found myself in.

glass half full

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Tuesday a friend send me an article or rather a letter written by a woman to her pre-divorced self.  It is a very sweet letter, that tells you that the next couple of years are going to be the hardest and most rewarding and exhilarating years of your life.  It commented saying that it is good that you go into divorce not knowing what to expect because it is damn hard.  While saying that getting to know yourself again after you let go of the picture you had of yourself as wife of so and so, is an exciting adventure.

It is a very sweet letter and it did bring (1) some comfort knowing that I am not some freak of nature that isn’t coping with what is going on and (2) even more anxiety and fear.

See, I am not divorced.  I haven’t even started the process and given my/our unique circumstances, we’ve only begun a trial separation.

There is hope.  Yesterday I was reminded that this is a process.  I was reminded that I should take a deep breath and that my lungs will fill and make room for air.  In the same way God’s grace gives me the capacity and the capability to go through every circumstance.  And like the air filling my lungs – I am not alone, I don’t have to be afraid because He is with me.

Lungs

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I was also reminded that it is time to start seeing my worth, He is a good Father, I am loved by Him.  Even though I feel like a fat loser and a failure, I am flawless.  Because of the cross.  Because of His Grace…

Take a breath smile and say
Right here right now I’m ok
Because the cross was enough

No matter the bumps
No matter the bruises
No matter the scars
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
No matter the hurt
Or how deep the wound is
No matter the pain
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless

Lyrics from Flawless, MercyMe

How do you deal with depression and divorce?

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