I wasn’t expecting to cry.  I wasn’t expecting a hell of a lot to be honest.  Today is my birthday, it’s the first birthday I celebrate since K and I decided to give a trail separation a go.  I’ve taken the day off, mainly because I have some tight deadlines for my degree, one of which needs to be submitted tomorrow.

I went into today feeling indifferent.  Instead I’ve felt some really overwhelming emotions and it is not even 9 o’clock yet!

Family, Work Colleagues and Friends

My family and work colleagues – they are really friends – went out of their way to make my day special.

  • The one guy got his girlfriend to a bake some chocolate brownies – all in honour of my birthday.
  • My very dear friend, bought and decorated a cupcake for me to take home, so that the kids could wake up early this morning, light a cancel and sing for me on my day!
  • A very special delivery from my friend and ex-boss and his wife, all the way from Cape Town.
  • The carefully and well constructed package my mom left with Logan, in order for him to wake me with this morning, gift in hand.
  • A coffee treat from a friend and an invitation to spend my day with another friend and her sister, who happens to share a birthday with me.

I could really go on and on.  But the truth is, the little gestures have touch me the most.  It has made me realize how blessed I am, it has made me realize how full my life really is.  I’m a pretty lucky girl!

My kids

Oliver is only little.  He did what little people do and asked when is it his birthday – see I pace him and he is fully aware that his birthday is after mine – and considering the fact that it is my birthday, it automatically means, his birthday should be tomorrow.  Thankfully it isn’t!

Logan has been a monster the past couple of weeks.  A real hand full.  I, and I should say, K has stepped up and we are dealing with it as best we can.  I suppose it is a process.

Monster aside, Logan did something so special last night, it left me speechless and in awe.  He sat me down and decided to pray for me. He said a sincere, heartfelt prayer, while laying hands on me.   There’s H-O-P-E!

Raising kids is no joke, there are so many responsibilities and challenges.  It is also an honour and a privilege.  I am no super-hero, but they sure as hell, are my super-power!

My Ex

I had no expectations, when it came to K.  On Tuesday nights he comes over and spends time with Oliver, while Logan and I to go to Capoeira.  Last night when we came home, he had some cupcakes ready and lit, he got the kids to sing for me and gave them a gift to give to me.

I was pleasantly surprised.  Not so much by the fact that he had cupcakes and made an effort – he has always been thoughtful when it came to celebrating milestones.  I was surprised by the gift, it was a little wooden sign with a red VW Beetle, flowers and bunting with a message that reads:

Life is a journey, enjoy every mile and through the tough times, remember to smile.  The road was traveled and conquered by the Lord.  At the end awaits the eternal reward.  

It is the first birthday since the very first birthday we spent together as a couple, that he got something so thoughtful, that I could say, he known the real me.  He knows who I am.

It is confirmation that what we had was real.

Emotions on my birthday

I didn’t expect to be nearly as emotional as I have been.  There’s been some change in behaviour from people that are closer to K than they are to me.  I didn’t think I’d suddenly only get a text message to wish me happy birthday, when I always got a phone call in the past.  It shouldn’t irritate me nearly as much as it does.

With that, I’ll go back to celebrating what is important and forgetting the rest.  Now go and watch the music video to, Lesley Gore’s “It’s My Party And I’ll Cry if I Want to” – it’s a real treat!

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3 thoughts on “It’s my Party and I will cry if I want to | A birthday post”

  1. Liewe Alet – soveel rou emosie. Soveel hartseer maar ook soveel liefde en vreugde. Veels geluk en weet jy is wonderlik, jy is kosbaar en pragtig.

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