I am a firm believer in the saying “things happen for a reason”. But lately, I am feeling a little demotivated, even while knowing and believing in the statement. While struggling with my frustrations, I am a firm believer that labelling your emotions makes all the difference.
PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE
I am not the most patient of people. In fact, I am much better at being a go-getter, in your face with ambition kind of girl. I like planning and working towards something. I believe in doing what I can from my side and having a little faith that the things will fall in place. Eventually – when the time is right. Generally, I hope and perhaps even demand the time to be right when I am ready.
I don’t expect things to be handed on a platter, but I kind of do expect things to be handed over, if I’ve put in the effort to work for it.
I know that isn’t life and in knowing I still feel like throwing a temper tantrum like a two-year-old.
THE EXCEPTION TO THE RULE
I know I am not the exception to the rule. I learned that lesson years ago, when I fell pregnant at 19, thinking “that will never happen to me”. And again when my marriage failed completely.
I am doing okay and if I am being completely honest with myself, I have no reason to complain. Yet for some reason, I’ve always had this wild dream that my life would be extraordinary, I’d shy away from mediocracy and strive to better and more! In saying better and more, I’m not referring to material things or wealth – I am talking about the quality of life and relationships. I am talking about taking pleasure in the small and big things we are blessed with, experiences that we grab ahold of and appreciating the lessons learned in hardship.
PERHAPS IT IS THE ATTITUDE BEHIND THE REASONS FOR MY ACTIONS THAT IS HAMPERING ME?
I can come up with a bunch of motivationals like “when one door closes another opens” and all sorts. But I feel the need, to be honest – I feel like I have worked my backside off for 9 years to achieve my academic goals. Yes, my one goal was to enrich my life, to help people around me figure out what they enjoy in terms of their career – to make a difference to the world at large, or at least the people I am in contact with. But the other goal was to place myself in a position to provide my family with more and to schedule my working hours in such a manner that I have the flexibility I crave to be with my kids.
Nine years of hard work hasn’t paid off and at the moment my patience is wearing thin.
I’ve recently let go of a good opportunity knowing that the opportunity was good, but not great or even a perfect fit. It makes me wonder whether I was mistaken and yet while letting “go“, I knew that something better was coming. The problem is, here I am, two months down the line, wanting to throw my tantrum. Wondering when my opportunity will present itself!
To add to all of the above frustration, my car was stolen a week ago! Life handed me another ball to juggle, an emotion to deal with. I can honestly say, I am so blessed to have a partner that was willing and able to help. He bought the coolest little bus, it drives buslike and slowly and it is forcing me to think and process my emotions.
LABELLING YOUR EMOTIONS
In the past couple of years, I have learned that I am much better at processing the emotion if I can label or define it. Everything that has happened over the past couple of months has forced me into a corner to evaluate what I have control over and where I can change and evolve.
I’ve been forced to look at my long term goals and make a career decision to ensure that my short term objectives will take me to my long term goals. It also means making a scary change at work. One that will leave me with a whole different set of frustrations. But if I can bite the bullet and persevere, will lead to the long term I am working towards.
There’s definitely one thing I need to learn at this very point in my life! I need to learn to identify the red lights that lead to frustrations. It is time to live at a slower pace in order for me to process and label emotions sooner rather than later.